Tuesday, October 07, 2008

The Story

*long post ahead*

First of all, I'd like to say a very sincere thank you for all your sweet comments from the last two posts! I loved seeing the de-lurkers comment too... SO THANK YOU EVERYONE.
Since people have been wondering about what happened, here's the story.
I canceled my induction as most of you know but the nurse said the doctor would not let me go over one week so one week later at 2:30 p.m. I was in his office for a check-up and he told me I hadn't progressed since two weeks prior. As I was feeling a bit down about it he said let's have the baby right now, go over to the hospital and I'll meet you there (his office is right next to the hospital.) I was shocked to say the least... what to do? I had Claire with me and I had not prepared myself mentally for what he was saying. I weighed me options (there were a few) and decided to just go for it. As I was walking over, I called Mark at work and told him to get ready for a baby. I then called my mom (she takes the photos of my births) and told her the same thing but didn't clarify I was in the hospital right then! I told her I would call her when I was close- me thinking close to giving birth- her thinking close to getting to the hospital.
I got hooked up with my water broken at 3:30 p.m. and decided to wait to get an epidural because I really wanted to do it naturally. At about 5:10 p.m. I finally succumbed to the pain and asked for one. The anesthesiologist rolled in about 10 minutes later and proceeded to give me the pain reducer in my back for about 10 minutes because he couldn't find the right spot. All the while I'm hunched over sweating and groaning like a mad woman and he's telling me to relax and bend my back more. At this point I tell him and the nurse I feel like I need to push in a bad way, so when he finally gets it in, he tells me it won't start working for about 15 minutes. I lay back down, the nurse checks me and I'm at a glorious 10! GET THE DOCTOR! Two pushes later Beck was born at 5:30 p.m. The epidural finally kicked in when they handed me Beck. I was a bit delusional because the anesthesiologist thought it necessary to give me two strong doses all at once (the kind they give emergency c-section patients.) I couldn't respond because I was in so much pain, so I'm a little miffed about that.
So all and all, I guess it was a spontaneous birth and I guess I went natural. It was so fast from me calling Mark to us having our baby in our arms... we just kind of looked at each other like "did this just happen?" It didn't register for a while. My poor mom never made it to the hospital on time, I know she felt so bad, I'm so sorry mom. Beck was so beautiful at birth with such pretty features, he almost looked liked a girl, and he has my dimples.

SO, question for all you ladies, does anyone hate hospitals as much as I do? Man, they stress me out BIG time. Beck is my third child and you would think it get's easier, but when the nurses keep coming in every two hours asking "has he eaten yet?, has he pooped yet?, has he eaten yet?, has he pooped yet?" Then one nurse proceeds to tell me about an infant that wouldn't poop. Come to find out, his lower intestine didn't connect with his opening and so he had to be life flighted to Primary Childrens. Then she goes on to say that I shouldn't leave my baby alone for even a second because someone will take him, or if someone knows I've just given birth they might try to break into my house and take my medication "so don't tell anyone that you just had a baby except for family and friends, Oh and don't ever leave your baby just sitting in a car seat because a baby in West Jordan died because her oxygen was being cut off, and make sure you and your husband and anyone who is going to babysit your child watches this video about shaken baby syndrome, only place your child on his back because of the risk of SIDS, yada, yada, yada." Okay seriously? Look, I know there are risks in everything... Life, Finances, Relationships, you name it, but have we become such a fear based society that it completely immobilizes people? I hear this stuff come out of this nurses mouth and although I know my child will eat, and my child will poop, I start second guessing myself, especially when they send a lactation nurse into help me 3 times... am I that inadequate? Both Claire and Beck swallowed a heck of a lot of amniotic fluid that held them over for a good 15 hours or so. The hospital kept testing his blood sugar levels and they were very high, so what gives? He doesn't feel the need to eat right now, it's going to be alright. THEN, the nurse comes back to tell us that she thinks he might have a heart murmur because it's not beating how it "should". By 24 hours I was like "get me out of here NOW!" So they do the hearing test before we leave and he fails twice.
Now I'm not the type of person to take my kids to the doctor evertime they get sick, if they get hurt, I don't rush right to their side and baby them, unless they are REALLY hurt and usually I can tell (mothers intuition?) So when we left the hospital, I was a nervous wreck and I havn't been able to snap out of it... plus with the baby blues and all? Let's just say the baby blues suck. Luckily I am able to recognize what's going on but it doesn't help the feeling of lonliness, nervousness, anxiety, tearfulness, guilt, etc. Top that off with a big glass of no sleep, and that's pretty much what's going on right now.
Beck is such a good baby, he hardly ever cries (hopefully it can stay that way), he has a HUGE appetite, and guess what? He poops like a champ, isn't that incredible? As for his hearing, we go in for additional testing tomorrow, and THIS my friends has been my biggest stress. I don't know if he is overly tired but he doesn't respond very well to loud noises or when we are right up close talking to him. I know that fluid can get caught in the ears and it can take a bit for the fluid to clear, and if he swallowed large amounts when he was born, I guess fluid in the ears could definately be a factor, but I'm worried. Ah life, so what if he can't hear well? We have a beautiful, healthy baby boy to love and to cherish forever, we'll take it as it comes. Oh, and Beck does not have a heart murmur, the doctor said he has a strong, healthy beating heart.

I am not going to start doing photography realted stuff until November. Please contact me then for any sessions you may need. Thank you for understanding.